Updated: Feb 3
Setting the Scene
I was laid off from my almost 7-year career.
I heard a voicemail from my "father" who I had not heard from in eons, bringing up so many mixed feelings.
I cried a lot.
I was trying to show my young niece how to do a yoga pose- crow’s pose to be exact. Trying is the operative word because I fell straight on my face and my bottom teeth went through my bottom lip. My mouth and my ego were hurt.
My second audiobook project was rejected by Audible. Back to re-recording, and waiting.
I cried a lot.
A raging rash taking over the top half of my body couldn’t be ignored any longer. After a series of self-prescribed creams and self-diagnoses from WebMD and Google (which as a public service announcement this is NEVER a good idea), I went to a real doctor. It was confirmed Eczema.
I had a real close call with Coronavirus.
I had some real, hard, and serious conversations with others in my life and myself. Also, I broke up with some friends and some of them don’t even know it yet!
I cried a lot.
A young lady went through a red light and drove straight into my driver’s side, thrusting my entire vehicle onto the curb with me in it. My car was totaled and I was totally shaken up.
I woke up on my birthday at the new age of 36 in a minor existential crisis for defying all societal norms for a woman of this age.
I cried a lot.
Present Day: February 2021
My latest children's book endeavor has come to a screeching halt.
I returned the rental from the accident and am officially car-less.
My audiobook project is still pending with no end in sight.
Mercury retrograde starts, just to add salt to my wounds.
I stopped crying.
If I am guessing your thoughts correctly, you might be thinking, “That sucks” or in words that I have personally used, “What the mother fudgicles is going on?”
One of these events single handily would be enough to provoke anxiety to be a permanent guest in my head- so these unfortunate events happening in consecutive months means no one should judge me for laying in the fetal position on the floor asking, “Why?”
Fortunately, in this series of unfortunate events, I AM asking why! And that means that I inherently understand there is a reason for everything.
Just because I’m asking why though, it doesn’t always mean I will get an answer-at that moment when I seek it so desperately or maybe even ever. This is where my spirit meets my human; where my mind meets my soul in partnership. This is the basis of having faith-acknowledgment of the physical and the spiritual working together for my greatest good.
I have faith that things don’t just happen to me, they happen for me.
My physical reactions like my lip bleeding from attempting crow’s pose, or my skin itching from my rash, or my car traveling off my path causing bumps and bruises on my body are not coincidental. They are messages. They are signs. They are guidance.
My lip bleeding could mean that my soul is bleeding to be seen, to have my lips be acknowledged to speak my truth. It could mean that sometimes I have to literally fall on my face to face what my inner being needs to heal.
My irritated skin could mean that I am just as angry emotionally as that raging rash. It could mean that I am acting ir-rash-tionally (irrationally) in some area of my life that needs closer attention. It could mean I am letting other people or situations unnecessarily get under my skin.
My car crash could mean that I have somehow gone off course in my own spiritual or life path. It could mean that I might want to learn to surrender control or the illusion of safety -like a secure income from a typical 9:00-5:00. It could mean that the road has been bumpy and it’s time to walk with myself again. It could mean that I am not taking care of my physical vehicle, aka my body as a vehicle that carries my spirit. It could mean a wake-up call: realizing I could have died gives me a new perspective on what it means to be alive.
It All Has Meaning
Even if these aren’t the true meanings, the point is, nothing we experience in this life is meaningless. As long as we stay present with awareness to witness all that is happening in our external environment including our bodies, then we can use every situation as a clue to what we need for our own internal healing.
I am choosing faith over fear. I am choosing to see the fortune in the perceived unfortunate. It's not that the universe hates me. In fact, it's the opposite. The universe loves me so unconditionally that it's providing me with so many opportunities to expand my consciousness and grow.
It’s not that I don’t have a job right now. It’s that I have a new chance to align my life with what I truly desire and deserve. I am learning that even without a "career" that I still have purpose. I have more freedom. I have more space to create, to write, to dream, and to feel. My job right now is my life! It is to focus on my mind, body, and spirit.
It’s not that I don’t have money right now. It’s that I am witnessing the energy of prosperity in other forms in my life. For example, receiving an abundance of love from family and friends, getting unexpected gifts, and being carried by universal support such as my student loans being deferred for months at a time with no penalty due to Corona!
It’s not that I don’t have a car right now. It’s that I get to choose a new direction. I get to rely on my internal GPS instead of needing one in a car to constantly tell me where to go in my life. It’s that sometimes things need to crash and burn in order to drive me to make some new decisions about my journey. It’s understanding that detours happen, but even so, with faith, nothing is truly an “accident.”